The internet. A new book. The need to paint my nails. A video of a cat doing something funny. There are a million different things I could blame, but the cold hard truth is I’ve never been good at paying attention. I get distracted easily. My focus drifts in and out. I have a difficult time recalling directions or details. It's no one's fault but my own. And it’s not that I’m annoyed or bored, it’s that my mind is forever wandering. I’ve always been a daydreamer, a morning-dreamer, a late afternoon-dreamer. Because dreaming is fun. It’s what gets us through the day to day routines. The only problem is I’m rarely able to focus on more than one dream.
If I had a nickel for every story I’ve thought up and not finished… well, I could probably buy a solid dinner with it. Nothing too fancy, of course. And definitely no dessert. The point is, I tend to create random characters and scenarios in my head that never get put down on paper. There are the rare occasions where the story is so persistent, I have no choice but to write it out. BE THE DEATH OF ME is a prime example. There was something almost tangible to what I saw in my head, I had to see where it led. The majority of the time, however, the scenes and characters (which I’ve gone so far as to name) never see the light of day. I tell myself I’ll get around to them one day. I occasionally take the odd note or two, but no more than that.
So here’s to you my fallen comrades: the zombies, the runaway brides, the street prophets, the time travelers, the addicts, the struggling waitresses, the thieves, and the fairy tale heroes. Perhaps one day I will find the focus needed to bring you to life. But for now, continue being thoughts in my head, ideas to brighten up my workdays and laundry days. I promise I’ll get to you one day…
…oh, look! Something shiny!